August 11
Days just go by now... Luke talks sometimes, still makes noises other times. We try to make him aware, and he realizes it, but sometimes continues. He's into "smelling" me lately which was cute for a while, but now.... hmmmmmmmmmm (he thinks it's funny... "can I mell you?"). He is becoming more and more independent as far as pouring his own juice, and taking all his clothes off, and wiping his bum... which is all good. The new things which astound me are when he's walking outside from the car to gymnastics building and he says "It's windy"; or at home when I'm on the computer "Mommy, don't check email" (haha); or "I love _____ " (fill in the blank, "Banana", "Peaches", "Bacon", "Mango slices", etc.) at the dining room table. He copies Joel more and more not only in words, but mannerisms and play which is exactly what he needs to be doing (awareness of others and mimicking), so it's all very exciting. He still cuddles with me a lot and loves to sit on my lap, which I don't mind, but he's definitely getting bigger and taller! He reminds me of his vitamins and takes his homeopathic drops on his tongue instead of in a little juice. He still likes the fall-off game, but often asks permission first... we allow him to play fall-off with a balloon, but not with a book, for example. He's figuring it out, slowly. He's stopped touching our plates/food which is a relief; and he's been eating fairly well. Luke LOVES gymnastics and is getting more and more physically confident. He insists on trying the rope swing, which is intimidating even for an adult. You have to swing way out and fall into the foam pit. He's not hanging on long, but hey, he's trying. Today we went to a new playground and he crawled on his belly over a rickety-wobbly bridge, but after a couple times with mom's hand, he was walking over it by himself, holding the rail. I think it only took 4 times for him to conquer it, which I think is quite amazing. He's anxious, and yet he's got the drive to try anything despite his fears. This is what makes me most proud of him. We also went biking for a little while... had to return the skookum bike from the therapy centre, but we took his big plastic tricycle which he pedalled all by himself. This is a big deal. We'll continue to practice on this to build up the upper leg / pedalling muscles and hopefully transfer to his "real bike" as soon as we can. He has been saying "Lookit this one" at almost every bite of his meal, which has become a little annoying... Joel said this once or twice about a uniquely-shaped piece of food and Luke has latched onto this exponentially. So he still does seem to get stuck on some things and repeat them constantly. Getting better all the time, of course. On the flip side, he'll come up to me while I'm cooking and say "What are you doing?" or "Mommy come play" or "I want to go pick up Daddy now"... things that are natural and wonderful to hear.

August 31
Luke's time at the weeklong SportCamp went well. We had a great assistant. He was interested in most sports and attempted them all. Apparently he prefers baseball (hit the ball with the bat) and soccer. Not a big fan of football. They try them all and even one morning spent the whole time at the Gymnastics Centre which he loves. One of the days they watched tv (!) so the assistant played with Luke as he's not a big tv watcher. The last day he lay around a lot and was quite tired.

Luke says he does not want to go to kindergarten, but I think he'll be okay. He knows his teacher is Miss F. He will be going 5 days a week in the mornings 8:30-11:00, and then have 3 afternoons a week of ABA sessions with Ms. S. It will make for a busy schedule again, but at least Joel and I will have the house to ourselves in the mornings.

Luke still has some issues that can get me down sometimes. He likes to throw things up in the air and see how they land. I suppose this is okay to learn about physics and the world around him, but he tossed a small plastic chair up into the tree outside today and it hit him on the head coming down. Live and learn I suppose (he didn't cry, but rubbed his head and did not throw the chair again). It's sometimes tough to watch. Also he tends to repeat questions... once nicely and when I say no, he says it louder in my face, and can continue to ask the same question over and over. Like I'm going to change my mind when you yell in my face, haha. Nice try. The repititiveness can be quite aggravating and tiring.

The boys have been making me crazy lately. Joel has been beating on Luke (jumping on him, pulling his hands, general wrestling). Fairly normal boy behaviour I guess (I only had one brother and he was 6 years older than me). They constantly test my limits and it's hard to keep them in line (especially when they gang up on me). Not sure if I'm going to garner any pity as every other mom out there is saying "welcome to the club". Anyways, I hope school and the new schedule will help things settle down here, and will push Luke forward as I feel he's plateauing a bit (always a bit depressing for me). We pray for a really great assistant. We also went to Sunday School the other day (combined with the older children for some reason) and watching Luke act so differently from the other children got me a bit down. He would not sit still and face the teacher and try to listen (as he would in circle time at preschool?!), and would lie on the floor and be generally distracting. I wanted to take him out but Joel did not want to leave... until Joel started crying really loud because he wanted a cup (had to answer a question right in order to get a cup filled with pennies). That was my cue to scram, and I sat in the car until daddy came out. I had a good talk with them both about behaviour and manners once again. Joel's a very assertive young boy and he's having a tough time accepting the harsh reality that he doesn't always get what he wants. He's been "lying" lately too, so we've been having to teach him about morality. It's been quite exhausting with the constant disciplining.

Had to say goodbye to two really great Behavioural Interventionists. So sad, but we're so grateful for their dedication and love for Luke. He's not exactly aware of the fact that they're not coming back, but he did give them both hugs and kisses. I wish them both much happiness.

We are pulling conversation out of Luke slowly but surely. A friend asked Luke his age the other day and he actually replied "6", which is amazing. I do try to spend some quiet one-on-one time with him explaining about the BIs leaving and kindergarten and how I expect him to behave. I think it soaks in, but I'm not sure.

Lately he's been insisting on sleeping in our bed at night, and we transfer him when we go to bed. It's kind of cute. A couple times, though, he cries and cries for me and wants me to lie next to him and hold his hand. I do for as long as possible. I do realize and relish that he is a little scared and loves me and wants me with him. That's a really good feeling.

Speaking of love... I had a particularly stressful and horrible day as a result of many things going wrong. I went to bed quite upset and hopeless. In the early morning I happened upon a rare few moments alone with Luke in the big lazyboy chair in his bedroom. I held him tight and we rocked silently together in the dark. I told him how much I loved him and how proud I was of him. We were quiet and enjoying the peaceful pre-day moment for a while.... then he said "I'm love you". Out of the blue. And just like that, it was a whole new day.