February 19

Luke needs dental surgery. He had grinded (ground?) his top tooth down quite far, and of course it's started to wiggle a bit; but I recently noticed it was yellowing and becoming "dead". I've been checking it periodically for the wiggle factor since the first tooth we found on the carpet in the living room (and since lost) and the second one went down with an apple. Anyways, I checked it on Valentine's Day and there was a hug squishy bump behind that looked ominous. Believe it or not, we were heading to the dentist that day for Luke's dad (early appointment drop-off) so I went in with Luke and explained the situation to the receptionist. She made an appt for the next day at 4pm. We went to school as usual, however I mentioned the bump to the assistant and teacher. 2 hours later they called. Luke was behaving inappropriately (okay, truthfully he pulled his pants down - not underwear thank goodness! - and this upset the class somewhat; as is understood; my apologies to all the parents for what they had to discuss that night with their kids!! ayiyiyiyi). So they kindly understood his behaviour as a child who was trying to communicate something and not knowing how. Hence, the call. They felt he was in pain and just needed his mom. I called the dentist and they managed to fit us in at noon. Luke's dad came along on his lunch hour to watch Joel while I went in with Luke. I must emphatically mention that Luke was AH-MAZING at the dentist. He behaved so well through the xray and the examination. I know he was relieved to be at the dentist. The dentist, however, was very concerned by what he termed a "serious infection"; and he stated that Luke's two front teeth needed to come out within the next week. Penicillin was prescribed to combat the infection prior to extraction. We came home and Luke seemed to understand something was being done and his behaviour improved well enough to attend school the rest of the week (although he tired easily towards the end of the day). So the call came that surgery is scheduled for Tuesday at 11:30am (sedation) in Kelowna... a day-trip for our family of four.

The one interesting thing that evolved from this came about the other night. I was tucking Luke in, and he is quite obsessed with "what happens after that?" so we often repeat his day-to-day schedule for his peace of mind. I thought it would be wise to have a calm conversation about what was going to happen, and explained Tuesday and surgery and that he would be asleep and they would take out his two front teeth. He listened quite attentively, and then he started to cry. He knew. He understood. And he was scared. I calmed him with sensitivity until he stopped crying. He wanted to make sure I would be there with him the whole time. I assured him I would. Joel and daddy would be in waiting room and then they would go for a walk, but come back afterwards. He seemed okay with that. I told him his teeth would feel better, and the bump would go down; and new teeth would be coming in. He totally understood. For me it was a monumental moment. For the first time I felt I had a sincere conversation with my beautfiul son about a big event and his feelings. I was so impressed with his communcation abilities, it was humbling. It's times like these when I walk away with a contentment and peace that Luke is going to be just fine.

Speaking of which; we had another visit with dear Mrs. Ross (in her eighties). She was so flabbergasted at Luke's latest progress that she said repeatedly, "He's going to be just fine," "He's going to be just fine." Apparently he reminds her of a young boy she worked with years ago who is currently in university. There is nothing I love more than a successful story to refill me with hope.

Luke's dad and I still alternate Sundays joining the boys in Sunday School, but I've noticed a vast improvement in Luke's behaviour lately. Apparently, positive reinforcement (aka bribery) can be a successful parenting tool. Last week, I had "my talk" with them, and added (for Luke's benefit) the specifics: no running, no playing with the door, no getting off your chair, colour when you're asked to, sing if you can or at least be quiet, and sit still... AND if you behave, you can play with the iPad and have some chocolate chips when you get home. Well. Both boys were model children the entire time. I did not even need to be there (except Joel's "not ready yet"). I was SO proud. Needless to say, we got home and the first thing Luke said was "I behaved in Sunday School, can I please play with the iPad and have some chocolate?" Yes, you can. Yes, you can!!! BTW, today at Sunday School they both behaved impeccably again, so I feel sure that it's a permanent change (well, pretty sure).

October 2009 was the last time I recorded Luke's quirks... I thought I'd do an update just for interest sake. My 2012 comments are in bold after each "quirk"...
• Luke turns my face to his and waits for me to smile and then says "Fin" - not sure what that means. Doesn't do this anymore.
• Luke constantly says "Fall Off Game is Finished"... looking at us in a perplexed way with an object teetering on the counter or table edge. Doesn't do this anymore. Mentioned the fall off game the other week and it was a total throwback for us since we hadn't heard it in years.
• Luke still tells us each and every time he has to go to the bathroom... like he needs permission. And he still sits and waits for us (I'm okay with this for now)... Haha, he still does this... actually kind of an ask permission / telling us that he has to go to the bathroom. What he does do now is go pee and flush by himself without anyone having to check on him. When he does "no. 2" he will sometimes wipe without prompting, but still often waits for prompting... does it all himself (needs the word reminders: wipe, flush, pull pants, wash hands)... but he does it all himself.
• Luke still dawdles and is pretty helpless at washing and drying his hands. Gets pretty preoccupied with himself in the mirror. Getting better at this, still kind of lame at it, but I've stopped caring. He needs to do it by himself... and he does still get a little preoccupied with himself. One of the bathrooms has a tough handle to turn on, so I usually have to turn it on for him, but I can walk away and he'll turn it off after he's done. Still likes to look at himself in the mirror and "talk" to himself in his own special way. Kinda funny.
• Luke still needs a toy or two in his hand, and freaks in the night when he can't find it. Right now it's a blue lid and a green lid.... constantly asking me where the green lid is (if he's lost it), to the point where he answers his own question "I don't know, find it" (Guess I've said this enough times!). When transitioning to Chris Rose and the Kamloops Christian School, Luke needed a toy, but now that he's halfway through he no longer needs anything. On the rare occasion that he does have a toy, he gives it up easily and we are all on a bit of an alert that he might be a little anxious (hence the toy).
• Luke always wants help to eat. He does ask for help. We do our best to have him take a turn, and then we take a turn (almost always we have to put the food on the fork). Trust me, we've had every kind of argument, discussion, disciplinary action to get him to feed himself... most days we just decide not to battle with him. Often, when we walk away, he will feed himself if he's motivated enough, so you know he's just playing us! But we'd rather not have him eat meals by himself, so we continue to "elp" him. He does eat well.... likes his condiments (mustard, ketchup and guacamole). When we help him, mealtimes are actually quite pleasant, especially with Joel's quips and comments (Joel's trying to say knock-knock jokes right now... thinks it's funny to knock on the table first). Luke, for the most part, feeds himself; especially his favourite foods (chicken wings, chips and salsa, icecream cones, any kind of chocolate). But he's still only a 7-year-old so there are some meals that both he and Joel need extra help with... while trying to get them to stay seated on their chairs, ayiyiyiyi!
• Luke cannot completely dress himself yet. He is oblivous to clothes or fashion... not caring what he wears, however he does choose one shirt over another when given a choice. He is really getting this... can strip down completely; is attempting to get a shirt on; can undo buttons (has a tougher time doing them up); can do his pants, underwear, socks, coat, boots, tuque, mittens all by himself. But like most kids, often needs coaxing, or if we lack patience, he'll wait us out and we'll do it for him. Kids can make one crazy.
• Luke does not always play appropriately with toys when he's by himself. He'll sit by the little people farm or house, but often just throws the little people through the window and he still is a little obsessed with opening and closing the door of the little house. It's getting better though. He does say "Play Caribou" or "Play Candyland" so he seems to enjoy these "board-type games" with Joel and me. They're very good at taking turns. Two weeks ago Luke would be able to play one game properly and then start acting up, but now he's focused and can play again and again and take his proper turn and play the game the proper way. He still seems to get easily distracted. Joel is so focused on the game that he gets annoyed when Luke doesn't participate properly or in a timely manner as per Joel's world (and loudly proclaims his annoyance! Luke is often oblivious, or giggles which just fuels the fire). Luke still has a hard time entertaining himself. He loves the iPad, but we can only allow so much time on it (even if he's doing educational games). He loves the Wii too, and is getting better at it slowly. He loves when we read books to him, and recently, on occasion, I've seen him flip through them himself and take it to me to "re-read" the page back to me. Usually the "Safety" books (we have about 10) that he's completely memorized. Once in a while he'll play cars with Joel appropriately (with Joel's assertive guidance), and I've seen him play with the Little People house but not appropriately (gets obsessed with the door being open or closed - yes, still has that OCD but it's so much less pervasive than ever).
• Luke still does not watch tv for any length of time. He'll glance at it occasionally, but is easily drawn away. He can recognize cartoons, but that's it. He LOVES to watch Max and Ruby over and over and over, and will pretty much watch any cartoon that is fairly slow moving and slow speaking. The faster "older children" ones are too much for him yet. His processing time, which has increased majorly, is still a little delayed so anything "fast talking" is way too much work for him.
• Luke's speech is getting better and better... we'll have to work on pronunciation, and probably pronouns, and all the other challenges that come with autism. (He often says "Luke's turn" instead of "My turn"). Speech is awesome. Still stumbles on words (just tries so hard sometimes), and people often have a tough time understanding what he is saying; but he is truly amazing and becomes more clear every week. The things that he says sometimes can blow your mind.
• Luke still does not walk down the stairs with every other foot. Still does not do this. They are diligently working on this at the Chris Rose Centre.
• Still touches things/objects to his mouth. On occasion. He is currently losing baby teeth, etc. so he's fascinated by the "hole" left by the missing tooth. Does still put his hands to his mouth every once in a while.